Dear Student Athlete

A new environment can be daunting, but the quicker you recognize that this is the moment you become a leader to yourself and the community around you, having the potential to incite positive change in a high energy student-athlete environment is the enlightening moment you have have the control to craft your own beautiful story.

This address is intended to reach out to my fellow student-athletes written by yours truly, to reflect, appreciate and instill trains of thought to thrive in the student-athlete environment, with reference to personal reflections, experiences, and an illuminating book, “Think Like a Monk” by award winning storyteller and former monk, Jay Shetty.

Freshmen to Seniors, I sincerely hope we can all take a moment to reflect, wherever we may be in our journey, and plant one minuscule piece of wisdom in our murky minds. Enjoy! :) 

Dear Freshman,

you are the fresh burst of energy that the world needs. You come in with a light and sincere heart, at times a little naïve which is completely fine. Just remember you are also an open book with empty pages, and you choose where the pen takes you.

In this environment you are not told what to do but you have the free choice to make the experience what you make it to be. Jay Shetty, mentions in “Think Like a Monk”,

“The gift of free will is that in life we can choose to be good, or we can choose to be bad. We can choose what standards to hold ourselves to and what we will regard as important, honorable, and admirable. The choices we make in that regard determine whether we will experience peace or not.”

You have the freedom to seek out mentorship, advice, guidance, from any individual in the community and it’s at your discretion what information you value, which ultimately shapes your experience. You may hear negative information, positive information or a mixture of both. It’s a beautiful skill to be able to utilize the information to make your own judgment thinking critically rather than leaning on a mere opinion.

In your early days any bit of complacency, whether it be turning up late to practice, disrespecting your teammate or failing to uphold any other communal standard is accompanied by seniors shouting at you, not giving you room to breathe, making you feel a tad insecure in front of your friends and hurting your ego. At times it can be humiliating and a reality check. The theme for freshman year is to overcome the Ego. It may feel like your older teammates are attacking your ego, but they only want what’s best for you and the team, although the medium of delivery may seem provocative and envious.

You may come in with high expectations, but you may not see any minutes on the pitch. However, you still make an impact and have a meaning to the team just as much as any other player, assuming you diffuse the ego. Regarding the Ego, Jay Shetty, mentions,

“Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position falls, your ego goes with.”

You may be in and out of the team as a starter or your material value may change for the good or bad over time but don’t let the label symbolize the degree of your validity within the team. Whatever position you find yourself in, see it as an opportunity to overcome a challenge and fuel your experience. If you are not a starter, you are the voice of the players on the pitch. You are whom the starters look to when they’re mentally and physically exhausted in overtime looking for any way they can to tap into some mystic sources of energy. You’re the one yelling at the top of your lungs to help your teammate make that last ditch tackle to win the game that you are also a part of.

Off the field, it’s exciting. You have the social buzz of being on the team, and you can get carried away with the spotlight, but this is another test. Enjoy the buzz but remember to focus. Be humble, respectful, and understanding of the environment around you. Bring pride to your cohort of freshman for being the lively heart of your respective team. Ask questions to your fellow teammates with more experience, engage with your classmates and learn their story. Have fun meeting people from all over the world diversifying your network and learning about other perspectives and cultures.

From personal experience, I vividly recall being inspired by a freshman on my team during my Senior year. This player did not see one minute on the pitch during a championship winning season but was a role model for being the best teammate, friend, and an advocate for the student-athlete community one could be. In hindsight, it was a reminder to me, don’t ever underestimate who you can learn and get inspired from. This young bloke would come into an intimidating house of 12 juniors and seniors, from a foreign country still learning English, but put himself in uncomfortable situations in order to develop as a human being. He ended up being the guy everyone wanted to talk to because he was empathetic. So selfless, he never made the household conversation about him. Instead, he always ensured that the guys were feeling okay, whether one had issues on or off the field as well as ensuring everyone is in good spirits after a loss. Selfless from him, and another reminder to myself. We can all a be bit more understanding and empathetic. He was the loudest voice on game days screaming until the final whistle not caring that he would have no voice until the next game day comes around. He was the first one to console the boys when we lost in a penalty shootout in the national tournament. He is the first one to listen, when I went on a rant about the challenges surrounding me and ensured that he brought me back down to earth. He went out of his way to comfort his teammates, while putting his own challenges to the bench.

Imagine the mental stress, moving to a new environment not being able to play, the predominant reason you are a student-athlete, but still being able to hold your head up high and be there for your teammates. These are the little things that bring out the human qualities from the student-athlete experience. He is now one of the highly respected people in the program only in his sophomore year. He is my friend, a leader, a role model, our number 1 goalkeeper, and a hell of a good teammate who planted the seeds for making positivity go viral in our campus.

Remember, freshman, your energy is contagious around the community. You are our future leaders, and a reflection of athletes in our program, be it a senior or freshman. Take pride in that.

Dear Sophomores,

as year 2 comes around, by this time either you have planted the seeds for a wholesome college experience, or you come in with a fresh mindset ready to right the wrongs you made as a youngster. Either way, this is your chance to put the foot on the accelerator, to cement your name in the school or rectify your mistakes. You choose whether you push for your place in the team as a starter or simply just a good teammate. The alternative is to become content with being a passenger and allowing excuses to overshadow your desire to be courageous and contribute positively to the team and greater community. The key theme to sophomore year is understanding your values and exhibiting behaviors to uphold those values. If you value teamwork, then don’t go talking behind your teammates backs to other teammates, or friends. Talk to people instead of talking about people.

Still a little inexperienced and naïve, you might run the risk of getting caught up in a toxic vortex of negativity after feeling resentful with how things are going within your experience. I completely get it. I was a victim to it myself, in my sophomore year. Reflecting, I hurt people that were simply doing their job such as professors, teammates and advisers that were genuinely being kind to me and wanting the best for me, simply because I chose the easy way out to think about things from an egocentric point of view and letting one subjective bad part of my day affect every other person around me.

I always thought about me, myself, and I.

“Why don’t I have a better scholarship? Why don’t I have more gear? Why don’t I get respected more? How come the other team gets shoes? Why didn’t I get a hello?” ~ Ridwan Hannan — 2018

Just like myself back in the day, you too can get caught up in a toxic vortex complaining about one thing to another blaming one person to another but forgetting that the true perception of our experience lies within us internally. These emotional and mental hurdles are all a part of the process of becoming aware of such issues and is an enlightening part of your journey. Having the awareness allows you to manage the emotional roller coaster and bounce back from mental slumps without getting too low. Can we adjust our expectations and focus on what we have instead of what we don’t have? By managing your expectations, you organically are maximizing your level of happiness as it simply becomes reality, takeaway the expectations. With this mindset, suddenly you start to express gratitude for the little things in life. Little things such as your mates wishing you good luck for the game, your teammate geeing you up when you’re looking a bit down, or simply the fact that you can walk into a locker room everyday with your best mates and have a laugh.

Regarding the toxicity of negativity Jay Shetty mentions,

“Sometimes we deny responsibility for the negativity that we ourselves put out in the world, but negativity doesn’t always come from other people, and it isn’t always spoken aloud. Envy, complaint, anger — it’s easier to blame those around us for a culture of negativity but purifying our own thoughts will protect us from the influence of others.”

We have only ourselves to blame when we focus our energy on having the perfect Instagram profile, yet the most imperfect mental health state. Five minutes until kickoff in the locker room, music pumping at 220 beats per minute and our focus is on our Instagram news feed, monitoring what our mates at other schools are doing instead of bouncing around visualizing ourselves and teammates going to war and coming out with the three points. Regarding external influences Jay Shetty adds,

“The more we are absorbed in celebrity gossip, images of success, violent video games, and troubling news, the more our values are tainted with envy, judgement, competition and discontent.”

We are the first ones to repost all the media attention on our social media handles, but also the first ones to critique our experiences as student athletes or the first ones to compare how other sport teams are treated as well as complain about our mental health. We thrive off the dopamine hits, when we get a like and a comment on our latest post, distracted from the company around us which can provide organic hits of dopamine through human interactions.

It can get comfortable in the space where you are captured in the captivity of negativity, but I challenge you to get outside of your comfort zone to make the experience better for your own self. Uphold your values, and ensure they are being exhibited in the community. Remember you are no longer a freshman, you have the responsibility to lead the next class below you, and you have yourself to lead. There’s a long way to go from here on and your experience can still go in any direction.

Dear Juniors,

you are an upperclassman now and you may start thinking about life after sport as well as being a silent leader for the team, someone that leads by example and is looked upon by the underclassmen. Someone that can have a relatable conversation not just about sport but about life. The theme of this year is identity, to develop and be proud of an identity that is more than being a student-athlete.

We ourselves want to think we are only athletes and are conditioned to believe that our identity is of binary nature. You most likely haven’t reached Junior year yet if you haven’t heard the good old saying,

“Student first, Athlete second”

Old mate Jay Shetty crafts it well,

“I’m an athlete, I’m a teacher. Sometimes this is just a useful way to jump-start a conversation with someone you’ve just met. But life is more meaningful when we define ourselves by our intentions rather than our achievements… Instead, if we live intentionally, we sustain a sense of purpose and meaning that isn’t tied to what we accomplish but who we are…”

We are more than just a student or an athlete. It’s about being a friend, a big brother, big sister, a soccer player, a tennis player, a student leader, cultural leader, a wholesome charismatic human being which is what education is all about in the first place.

Get involved in the community and indirectly start preparing for life after sport whether it be joining a club to explore a new passion or promoting a personal project of yours. Have enough experiences so when it comes to senior year you can give back to the community and start to leave a legacy behind instead of playing catchup.

Whilst getting involved, build your brand within your community, and get your peers to vouch for you. Be that person that everyone in the school wants to come across when they’re having a bad day because you ask them how they are doing, without any contingencies. It’s about wanting your mates to win at life in whatever they do and spread that positivity around campus. Focus on the right intention, instead of resentment and envy.

You may in fact be the charismatic leader of your own student-athlete community, but I encourage you to stay connected with a touch of humanity with the greater community as well. Jay Shetty challenges us all to reach out to those beyond our own niche communities stating,

“Look beyond the people you recognize, beyond your comfort zone, to strangers and people you don’t understand. You don’t have to befriend them all, but see them all as equal, with equality of soul and the potential to add variety to your knowledge and experience.”

Hello’s and thank you’s go a long way, even to someone who is completely different from you with different backgrounds, different stories, different values. A simple, “Hey, good to see you” can jumpstart someone’s sluggish day and simultaneously provide you with more knowledge about the world, soaking in another perspective.

Finally, support the seniors where you can, mentor the newcomers and enhance their experience. Although you are not yet a senior, you have more influence in your team and community than you think. You have two generations of underclassmen looking up to you as older siblings. You have already overcome your ego and set your values. Get to unlock your identity and you can become the compassionate student that simply adds energy to the school.

My Dear Seniors,

hopefully you have got accustomed to this life and the theme for this year is finding the passion in serving your community, ensuring those around you have the best experience possible. Be the guide, the teacher, the coach, the leader to your community.

In “Think Like a Monk”, Jay Shetty provides evidence on the benefits of compassion stating,

“Studies show that when we pursue ‘compassionate goals’- those aimed at helping others or otherwise helping to make the world a better place we’re less likely to have symptoms of anxiety and depression than when we focus on improving or protecting our own status or reputation. The act of giving to others activates the pleasure center of our brain.”

With all the experience you have, make sure your teammates have the best experience and that you serve their needs. Plant the seeds for the program to be in a better space than when you first walked into the locker room your freshman year. If you happen to be the captain, be weary of using the title for personal gain as it as an indicator of complacency and mediocrity. Resist the temptation to let it symbolize a higher status within the team. It is your responsibility to serve your teammates and not the other way around. It’s your responsibility to get to know everyone on a personal level on your team, regardless of class or talent and adapt your approach to best understand the material and emotional needs of your teammates. However, be acute. Regardless of how well we might think we may know one of our teammates, we never really know what someone may be experiencing internally, so we must make sure to be gentle, generous, and empathetic, especially in an intense athletic environment where emotions are always on the brink of boiling over. It’s your responsibility to put yourself in others shoes and see the challenges from their perspective. Constantly ask those around you.

“How can I help? How can I change my behaviors to make your experience better?”

If there’s underclassmen that struggle to conversate with the coaches or feel intimated, help them prepare and be a supporting voice. Do not allow and/or create cliques within the team. Instead, inspire everyone to come together as one voice. Maintain your integrity and desire for those around you to have the best experience possible. Seniors, you are the voice of your values and program. What you say and do is received by our underclassmen, so I urge you to be their role model.

You get your time to be in the spotlight when senior day comes along. At this point in time take a breath and pause for a second to appreciate the rollercoaster journey that you are about to get off. In a flash you remember every emotion that got you to this stage whether it’s hyping up in the locker room pregame, walking out for game day or celebrating in the locker room after a big win. Appreciate the hours you put into the weight room, the field, to building relationships on and off the field. Remember the nights having deep conversations with your teammates not just about the game but life and personal challenges. Appreciate the moments when you were at the lowest of lows in your most vulnerable times to the sensation of 5 minutes of euphoria, celebrating the championship win after hours and hours of grueling hard work, on and off the field. Appreciate all your friends, family members that have wished you well for each game, that have come supported, and have been some sort of mental support source throughout your journey. Appreciate the fact that this is the last time you can put all your worries aside, take a step outside reality and venture into the abyss with your teammates, feeling sensations that many can only dream of experiencing. Appreciate that your success in becoming a human being is attributed to all the human beings around you whether it be a trainer, coach, teammate, friend, professor, or parents.

I promise, as a senior it was the hardest thing to leave the locker room with a suitcase filled with 4 years of college gear and taking off my name tag. Seldom might be the opportunity for the majority to share a locker room with that energy, sharing the camaraderie with your mates and feeling the thrill of going into battle. Your precious time in this chapter is scarce, so make the most of it.

My Dear Teammates,

In hindsight, whether you’re a freshman or senior, captain or benchwarmer, we come together to experience beautiful sensations as one. We are exposed to each other’s unique flaws and inspired by each other’s unique strengths. We live together, go to class together, spend time in the hotel together, in the bus together. In all this time we show our best, our worst but we get to learn each other’s differences and utilize it to experience special moments.

Jay Shetty highlights the beauty of diversity within humanity quoting the Dalai Lama,

“Under the bright sun, many of us are gathered with different languages, different styles of dress, even different faiths. However, all of us are the same in being humans, and we all have thought of “I” and we’re all the same in wanting happiness and in wanting to avoid suffering.”

Similarly, as student-athletes, we may have different goals, different upbringings, different cultural backgrounds, different stories, different challenges, different anxieties, different insecurities, different vulnerabilities but we all want the same thing as student-athletes — to experience that sensation of euphoria after winning a championship as well as happiness.

Freshmen to Seniors, there’s many distractions and opportunities to get complacent but if you do the right things, you give yourself every best chance to experience that beautiful feeling of euphoria.

Wherever you may be in your journey, be it a freshman or senior, I hope this reading has inspired you to enhance your story in any capacity whether it be on a large or small scale. It can be as simple as saying hello to the next person you see on campus.

As student-athletes we have the power to drive change and be a positive influence. With little bits of positivity from us all I hope we can create a thriving environment of student-athletes and be grateful for our experiences rather than being resentful. Enjoy every microsecond of that celebration with your teammates because you don’t know when it will be the last, savor it and own it. This is your story. Be the change, be the champion of life and enjoy the dance. But do it together. As an old time Australian saying goes,

“We are one, but we are many.”