The ‘E’ Word in Sports
As the year comes to an end, it is worth reflecting on what has been a crazy year for humanity. From a sporting perspective, personally it involved 0 competitive games, a handful of team training sessions (stop starting in nature) and a lot of individual training and self-reflection. The sporting year started as business as usual before a total shutdown went in place for what felt like an eternity. An interesting time for my teammates and I, but it was an introspective time where everyone learnt more about themselves in one way or another. Fast forward a whole year and the new normal for college sports looks like a lot of covid tests, limited usage of facilities we once took for granted, schedules changing all the time, restrictions in training and really just a whole lot of uncertainty. I guess what keeps us going is the return of that shared sense of team identity we get back which now becomes so precious. The new normal is not what it used to be but the first session back looks like the team is buzzing, raring to go and everyone seems to be just enjoying every minute of it regardless of the restrictions in place. This seems all well and good but if our ego kicks in, it only takes a few weeks to forget that we went missing in action for half the year, and that attitude of treating every session or game like its last evaporates into thin air.
With reference to two books, ‘Ego is the Enemy’, by Ryan Holiday and “Neurodharma’ by Psychologist, Rick Hanson, this blog is about a buzzword that gets thrown around in sports, Ego. Arguably, some thrive on it and for some it’s their downfall and can destroy their careers, relationships and everything else that is required to build a positive team culture. In the realm of student-athletes ego has an ambiguous role in our lives. The reality is that we’re nowhere near being pro but it’s as good as it gets at an amateur level with privileges such as access to facilities, a free education and support resources which are luxury commodities in other environments. The special treatment we receive at times can provide a false sense of security which may allow us to believe that we are more important than we actually are. Managing that sense of ego ultimately determines how much we can get out of a student-athlete experience and the surrounding environment.
Over the summer break I came across the book, “Ego is the Enemy”. Essentially the book is about how ego is pretty much always the downfall for humans with reference to a wide array of historical examples. Ironically, I felt as though the early chapters in the text attacked my ego as it drilled in messages about how in every situation ego becomes the enemy. Initially, reading with my chest puffed out, naturally, the thoughts that were circulating in my mind were, ‘Where’s this going…”, “What is he talking about..”, “Of course I need an ego to be good at what I do”. Initially I thought this is ridiculous. I need to have some sort of ego in order to be good at my sport. As I continued reading, my proud chest began to sink in and my ego that was hidden away from me became exposed along with the other questionable facets of my approach to life and sports.
How does this all affect our role in sports?
Whatever level we may be playing at in our preferred sport, whether that be the amateur leagues, pro-leagues, or as a student-athlete at university like myself, it is reasonable to assume that we play sports for the thrill, the rush of adrenaline and the memories we make. Ego has the potential to destroy all the good things aforementioned.
To the world we look up to, the professional realm of sports, from the outside looking in what we may see on headlines and social media posts is only the glamour of the egocentric point of view of athletes. However, there still remains the opportunity for self-development and honest reflection in order to keep the ego in check. I basically know nothing about American Football, but an example from one of the examples referenced by Ryan Holiday stood out to me which I think is a great example for people involved in college sports. In 2000, The New England Patriots drafted an extra quarterback in the 6th round and the 199th pick of the draft. The quarterback happened to be Tom Brady, which may have been the biggest bargain in sporting history. Instead of praising themselves for the pick, the organization admitted that they miscalculated all of his intangible assets and saw this as an opportunity to re-evaluate their recruiting process so they don’t make the same mistake again. The director of personnel, Scott Pioli even kept a photo on his desk of a player that they drafted in the 5th round but never made it to a training camp. In the book it was quoted,
“It was a reminder: You’re not as good as you think. You don’t have it all figured out. Stay focused. Do better.”
As a student-athlete we can get ambushed by our own ego and it can become public enemy number one as it takes away from all the beautiful things that come with that precious time we have in our position. Whether we are aware of it or not, there are an abundance of kids, who may have different stories wanting to be in our situation, whether that be a path towards education that would otherwise not be accessible or a pathway to a prospective career in one’s desired sport. For me this became a reality, when I observed a young student crying in the financial aid office of our school because she couldn’t afford her tuition fees. Small moments like these provide a reality check as to the privileged position we are in as student-athletes.
Focusing on the present moment
We live in an era where the emphasis is placed on the individual over the collective. Everything is about me, whether that be the latest google algorithm telling me where to be at what time, or the amazon algorithm telling me what I need to buy for my bedroom. As everything appearing on our tech devices becomes so personalized and addicting to us, we become information junkies absorbed only by what’s appearing on our screen. This might seem completely irrelevant to sports and ego but it does in fact play a role in team environments. Essentially, by being consumed by an alternate reality from the present moment, indulging in the content being spit out from our phones instead, leads us as individuals to be ruminating about the past, pondering about the future, and simply shifting the focus away from anything but the present moment. From a neurobiological sense this is when the default network of our brain is most active which, Psychologist, Rick Hanson in his book, Neurodharma describes as being,
“involved with ruminating, daydreaming, and wandering attention.
Not that this type of reflection is redundant, but too much time spent in this state takes away from the present moment and can become counter-productive for our well being as individuals, and can take resources away from trying to build a positive team culture. Instead of thriving off the good sensations we get from being in a team environment, we thrive off the dopamine hits that we get, from messages of praise on social media showing off our successes, yet we forget to show that same appreciation to our mates around us in the locker room or fail to hold a conversation when it’s time to show a new recruit around. Given all the stimulus we receive is so personalized, it feeds our ego and sense of importance, taking away our attention from the environment where our heads should really be at — in the locker rooms and classrooms. We forget to give our full attention to what’s really important, which is what’s in front of us, the privilege of being on a high-level sports team and thriving off that pressure and making the most out of the experience.
We’re not as important as we think
The luxuries we receive as student-athletes also have the potential to feed our ego by making us feel special and somewhat more important than our own good. Conditioning our mind to believe that we have a right to be where we are and are entitled to the many perks that are bundled with being on a sports team is the ego flourishing and can cause a circulation of toxic energy. All of a sudden we may think that as an individual we are at the centre of the cosmos and deserve everything to be done around our demands, and we fall into the trap of believing that what we do as an individual is actually important. One of my favourite quotes from Ryan Holidays, “Ego is the Enemy” is,
“One of the symptoms of approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important”
From this perspective it is worth taking a step back every now and then to appreciate the fact that there are approximately 8 billion people on this planet. Who’s to say that my story is any more important than the 8 billion other individuals on this planet. Understanding this frame of thought allows us to appreciate that everyone has their unique timeline, but that does not make any one story more special than the other. It is worth thinking about this point in relation to the concept, sympatheia which refers to our connectedness with the cosmos. Essentially, we are all connected to each other in one way or another but at the same time only have a minuscule impact in the broader spectrum of the cosmos. We are all connected, yet we are nothing as individuals, a fascinating paradox which may be worth thinking about in relation to a team-like environment in sports. Relating this idea to sports, we may not always see eye-to-eye with our team mates or coaches implying weak or absent connections on a micro scale. However, as a team on a macro scale we are all interlinked as one ‘cosmos’ and the flow of energy throughout the team is bound to provide the best results for the collective leading to sensations of joy for the individual. A special emphasis is placed on the fact that the collective comes first, and the latter is the individual and not vice versa. Letting go of the sense of self, not seeing things in the perspective of ‘I’, “me” and “you” is a step forward to realizing that one is part of a bigger picture whether that be a part of a team trying to win a championship or the ‘eternal cosmos’.
Building a positive team culture
These ideas can be applied to the sporting realm in order to build a positive team culture. Recently, the coaches in my team introduced a concept to us which parallels the previous ideas mentioned. The philosophy, ‘Ubuntu’ inspired from the Netflix Documentary, “Playbook” where Basketball Coach Doc Rivers applies the philosophy in his team is vital to their success. Ubuntu is an African philosophy which is translated into, “I am because we are” or “humanity towards others’. In the documentary, Doc Rivers outlines that based on this philosophy every decision he makes may not necessarily be in the best interests for himself or a particular player, but it is in the best interests of the team and right or wrong, the intention is there for the team to succeed. Referencing Rick Hanson from Neurodharma, he states,
“Since the sense of being a self causes a lot of suffering, including taking things personally, becoming defensive, and getting possessive. When the sense of self decreases, well-being usually increases, with a feeling of ease and openness. As Anam Thubten put it: No self, no problem.”
In our team environments the individual value we place on ourselves is only validated by the approval of our teammates and members of the school that provide us the opportunity to do what we do. I succeed only if the team succeeds. By letting go of the sense of self, we can also stop playing the role of the victim and feel as though the world’s against when it most definitely is not. In the documentary, Doc Rivers, also revealed that he never lets his team nor himself be the victim in any situation. As a senior, I can sometimes get caught up within my circle of friends and get into cliques where it feels comfortable and I forget to embrace the diversity and knowledge that I can gain from those around me. I never expected that one of the freshmen on my team would teach me a lesson about the very same messages Doc Rivers shared. One of the freshmen on my team insisted that the way he looks at things is that he gets to do x, y and z instead of saying he has to do x, y and z. He gets to play soccer with his mates. He gets to go to school. He gets to live in a crazy house with mates from all over the world. He gets to do the thing he loves everyday. Both Doc Rivers and my mates philosophy is backed by psychologist Rick Hanson, whom in his book Neurodharma states,
“Many ethical principles are expressed through negation — for example, thou shalt not kill — but it’s also valuable to consider them in terms of affirmation.
Although simple in nature, the intention is what counts, a glass half full perspective on life.
In sports we have to keep score — that’s how we win games and championships. In life that may not be the case. Keeping score and having this idea of what is fair and what is not is toxic, and as mentioned in “Ego is the Enemy”, is actually termed narcissistic injury by psychologists when the ego kicks in, thinking that someone always owes us. In the book it’s stated,
“Psychologists call it narcissistic injury when we take personally totally indifferent and objective events. We do that when our sense of self is fragile and dependent on life going our way all the time.”
We shouldn’t be keeping score with our teammates, coaches and faculty members at school off the field. It’s not a zero-sum game. Instead we can accept who we are, accept that everything may not be perfect, accept that there will be moments of turmoil, but whenever there is a moment so bad understand that there is always an opposite sensation to the sensation you are feeling so don’t let your highs get too high and your lows become too low. Assume the best out of people, whether that be your teammate, coach, professor or just a mate. It’s better to assume the best in humanity and that those around you are there to help your experience be the best it can be. Assuming otherwise is a sign of stubbornness and the ego kicking in thinking that it’s a dog eat dog world. We owe much of our success to others and without those support networks we would be left idle of these wonderful experiences. What ego really exposes is the insecurities within us we are too afraid to confront. :)